Panic!

Only 7 more mornings till departure! Now the panic is starting to hit me. Is everything ready? Have I forgotten something crucial? Many don't know that I am a control freak so I need to have everything under control before plane leaves...because after that things are in motion and I cannot control them anymore. Well, not in Finland atleast.

Plane tickets, check.

Travel insurance, check.

Accomodation, check...atleast for first 11 days.

All my monthly bills have been transferred to electronic form. I have canceled my internet connection and all subscriptions to MMO games. All necessary gear, clothes and equipment has been bought...etc, etc, etc. I truly feel I have everything sorted out and I am ready to depart but...its propably very natural to have these panic attacks. This isn't after just any holiday, 11 months away from home is hardly normal holiday.

Panic isn't the only thing that starts to creep in, paranoia is other. Paranoia that something awful will happen during these last few days that will prevent me from leaving. Just yesterday I was going home from work in a bus and it was raining...bus driver lost control of the bus for just a fraction of a second but I felt it. I also felt my heart rate rapidly increasing, what if...? Trying not to think like that but I guess its only natural.

I have planned this thing from September 2007. I have basically given 10 months of my life away just to do this trip. There are so many small(and bigger) things I gave up during that period. I'll be cursed if someone or something which I cannot control prevents my dream now, just 7 days before it starts.